Abuse Affects Millions

Nearly 25 percent of American women report being subjected to some form of domestic violence at some time in their life. Such violence harms both women and their children and even makes it more likely that these children one day will be abused or be an abuser. Abuse is not only against the law, it costs millions of dollars each year for medical care and time lost from work.

We Can Help

Catholic Charities’ two-phased program for men arrested for domestic violence is dedicated to raising awareness of the issue of domestic violence and offering help to end this cycle of abuse in a way that respects the needs of each person.

• Our trained and accredited counselors do this by:
• Offering a program dedicated to ending abuse by addressing individual needs at our offices in Green Bay and Marinette that is affordable
• Separating myths and facts about abuse
• Making clear the impacts of abuse on the victim, the abuser and children
• A simple quiz that lets you see if you are an abuser

Stopping Takes Help

An abusive person can choose to stop hurting the people they love. But changing beliefs and abusive behaviors requires intervention and support.

Battering tends to escalate over time and often leads to homicide or suicide. Forty percent of female homicide victims are killed by family members or boyfriends.

Ending the Cycle of Aubse

Catholic Charities’ Programming for Men Arrested for Domestic Violence consists of two phases:

Phase I: Men go through a four-week assessment process. During weekly two-hour sessions the men are interviewed, given information about domestic violence and are assessed using two different methods.

Next, Catholic Charities' counselors consult with probation and parole officials to determine which group is best for each man. Several groups are available depending on needs. For example, Tomahawk Counseling Services offers groups for men who have been arrested for the first time, as well as for men with Alcohol or Other Drug Addiction (AODA) concerns. Catholic Charities also works with men who have long criminal records and may reoffend. There also is a group for men with mental health concerns.

Phase II: Twenty-four weeks, for two hours each week, in the actual treatment group or groups.

Help for Women

While most abusers are men, Catholic Charities also offers a group for women who have been arrested. Most arrested women have been victims of domestic violence. The Catholic Charities' program includes anger management and survival strategies.

How We Help

Catholic Charities’ Programming for Men Arrested for Domestic Violence helps the participant:

• Learn to understand that a person acts violently to gain or maintain control over the victim's thought, actions, or feelings.
• Increase awareness of the belief system they use to justify abusive behaviors.
• Increase their willingness to change abusive behaviors by examining the destructive effects of this behavior on relationships, children, friends and society.
• Increase their understanding of abusive behaviors.
• Learn how to change abusive behavior by exploring non-controlling and non-violent ways of relating to partners.

Some Myths about Domestic Violence . . . and the Facts

Myth: Violence only happens in poor and uneducated families.

Fact: Violence occurs in families from all social, economic, educational, racial, ethnic, and religious backgrounds.

Myth: Alcohol and drugs cause battering.

Fact: Chemical dependency and domestic violence are two separate problems. Chemical dependency is a disease. Domestic violence is chosen behavior.

Myth: The abuser is just "Out of Control."

Fact: The abuser is very much in control -- choosing who, where and how he abuses, and when it is safest, with the fewest consequences.

Myth: The problem is really spouse abuse -- couples who assault each other.

Fact: 95% of serious assaults are against women. When women are violent towards their partners, it is almost always in self-defense or when trying to protect their children.

Myth: Women provoke beating by pushing men beyond their breaking point. They are asking to get hit.

Fact: A person can provoke a feeling (anger) but what a person chooses to do with that anger is their responsibility.

Myth: Battered women must enjoy the violence, otherwise they would leave abusive relationships.

Fact: Battered women do not enjoy being beaten. Women make many efforts to stop the violence. The question should not be "Why doesn't she leave?" It should be "Why does he abuse?"

Myth: Couples counseling is a good recommendation for people in abusive relationships.

Fact: Abuse is a control issue, not a communication issue. Marital therapy is not only ineffective for the couple, it is unsafe for the victim. Only when the abuse has stopped for a period of time, and the abuser takes responsibility for his use of violence, can couples counseling be helpful.

Myth: Family violence is a family problem.

Fact: Family violence is a crime and is punishable by law. It is also a social problem, since our society pays a huge price:

• $4,393,700 total annual medical costs
• 28,700 emergency room visits
• 175,500 days lost from work
• 21,000 hospitalizations - 99,800 days of hospitalization
• 39,000 physician visits

Myth: Children need a father, even though he is violent.

Fact: Children need a father who is safe and emotionally responsive. Children raised in abusive environments are terrified by what they hear and see and hold that fear inside themselves.

Download a PDF of this fact sheet

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Impacts of Recurring Domestic Violence

Download a PDF of this chart

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Quiz: Is Your Behavior Abusive?

Answer yes or no to the following questions:

• Was there violence in your family?
• During conflict do you often threaten someone, break things, punch walls, slam doors, ignore her, or leave?
• Do you have mood swings, where one moment you feel loving and affectionate, and the next moment angry and threatening?
• Have you ever physically harmed your partner, or any past partners?
• Do you find it difficult to talk to your partner about your feelings, your hopes, your fears?
• Do you tend to blame others for your behavior, especially your partner?
• Are you a very jealous person?
• Do you try to control how your partner thinks or dresses, who she sees, how she spends her time, how she spends her money?
• Do you try to discourage her from seeing her friends or family?
• Do you get angry or resentful when she is successful in a job or hobby?
• Do your conversations quickly escalate into threats of separation or divorce?
• Do you ever threaten to hurt her, yourself, or others if she talks about leaving you?
• Do you do or say things that are designed to make her feel "crazy" or "stupid"?
• Do you blame alcohol drugs, stress, or other life events for your behavior?
• Do you feel guilty after aggressive behavior and strive for your partner's forgiveness?
• Do you think that you could never live without her, yet, another time, want her out?
• Do you use sex, money or other favors as a way to "make up" after conflict?
• Is your partner afraid of you sometimes?
• Do you sulk silently when upset?
• Do you use sarcasm, often disguising it as humor?
• Do you have a "public front" that is different from your "private front"?

Download a PDF of this quiz

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We're Ready To Help

Our trained and accredited counselors look forward to helping you deal with abusive behavior.

For additional information contact Catholic Charities at:

The Green Bay Diocese
(920) 272-8234
Toll-free: 1-877-500-3580, ext. 8234

E-mail

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Accredited and Certified

Catholic Charities is nationally accredited by the Council of Services for Families and Children. It also is a state certified mental health clinic.

Counseling is accredited by the Council of Accreditation (COA). Accreditation from the Council on Accreditation for Family and Children’s Agencies ensures that Catholic Charities operates under the highest professional standards and best practices in the nation.

What is COA? COA accredits organizations delivering child and family, behavioral healthcare, consumer credit counseling, and/or community support and education services. The accreditation process includes self-study and onsite reviews. Through accreditation, Catholic Charities is recognized for providing quality services that comply with nationally recognized best practice standards.

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Groups Offered in Green Bay and Marinette

Catholic Charities offers groups for men arrested for domestic violence in the Green Bay and Marinette offices. Persons interested in the group or having to go to the group can call the Green Bay or Marinette office.

Green Bay
1825 Riverside Dr.
P.O. Box 23825
Green Bay, 54305-3825
(920) 437-7531, Ext. 1 or 877-500-3580 (from the 920 and 715 area codes)

Marinette
844 Pierce St.
Suite 102
Marinette, 54143
(715) 735-7802

E-mail

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Costs and Payment Options

Costs of Catholic Charities services are supported by the Bishop's Appeal, governmental contracts, United Way contributions, grants, bequests, donations and fees. Any service fees charged to clients are based on ability to pay; some services are covered by insurance.

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